Deeper.

This song is hitting replay for me, on my runs, on my ipod, on my phone, on my computer..

My journey towards a better lifestyle began several years ago, but it started out with a more deeper, a more emotional approach. Sure the outcome of having 3 kids and never being physically active in my entire life, was a kicker.. but it was, and has  always deeper than that.

It started out as a kid.. I've talked about how I grew up "fat" and how food was always a part of every gathering, every outing, and every corner of my hometown, in Hawaii. Growing up, never feeling "beautiful", never satisfied, and surrounded by skinny a$$ girls with the perfect B&B's (boobs and booty) well, it's a tough crowd.  The pressure of trying to fit in, having friends, and of course boyfriends.. who the heck can one love themselves?

For me, I've never really embraced the person I was.  There was always something "wrong" with me.

I went about this healthy lifestyle, the wrong way. It took a good friend, Anna to tell me otherwise... I began to eat less in hopes to fit into the perfect size 2's. I exercised.. hard. Then the weight came off, but I realized .. that I was just never happy. I was down to 110 and there was always something else I wanted... It wasn't...  I wasn't good enough.. in my eyes.

It took me a while to "see" and to really feel, happy with myself. To realize that I am "perfect" the way I am.  And that this whole lifestyle journey is bigger than being thin as toothpicks..  The journey soon became about evolving.. growing.. as a woman. Finding strength in areas of my life, I never thought I could. It was about being active. It was about teaching my children the importance of a healthy lifestyle. I began to see the changes in my attitude and my outlook on life.

I no longer strive to be "thin as a toothpick" but I strive to challenge myself physically.. because if it's one thing I've learned.. it's that.. you can do anything you set your mind to. 

This song immediately brought tears to my eyes the very first time I heard it.. I didn't visualize a boy+girl theme.. I knew it was something deeper.. a little girl growing up in such a cruel world, surrounded by what is said to be the norm, a girl trying to find her place in this world, trying to fit in.. And finally realizing, that she was perfect all along...