lifestyle

Inspiration.

I have this embedded in my head.
It's my screen saver, on my iPhone, and on my mind.. all the time.

I've been in training mode for the past 3 weeks.. training for what?
I'm not quite sure yet.
I have a half-marathon on my mind.. BUT, big BUT.. it happens to fall on the one day I'll be photographing a wedding.

This very situation has got me all wired up... feeling sick to my stomach.
Why?
Because I want this "half" so bad...
You know how you want something so bad, you can almost taste the blood, sweat, and tears ?
But the uncertainity of the day... is what's putting a big STOP sign on the whole thing.

I'm constantly thinking...
Okay, the race starts at 9am.. I already run 6 miles in one hour.. so 13.1 miles should be a good 2 hours.. 2 1/2 at the most.. That leaves 11:30am.. An hour to get ready to be at the wedding by 1pm.

But, I've never done it before.. What if I am in so much pain after I can barely walk yet alone keep up with a wedding's demands.

I sit here and act like this is the last half.. ever.
But it's not.. there's another one in October.

Whose keeping tabs? I say in my mind..
I am.

I really want to do this. But I just know... I shouldn't. But yet, I'm still training..

Well no one says I can't train for the October Half.. :)

If you only knew.. how bad I want it.. How much this would mean to me..

Deeper.

This song is hitting replay for me, on my runs, on my ipod, on my phone, on my computer..

My journey towards a better lifestyle began several years ago, but it started out with a more deeper, a more emotional approach. Sure the outcome of having 3 kids and never being physically active in my entire life, was a kicker.. but it was, and has  always deeper than that.

It started out as a kid.. I've talked about how I grew up "fat" and how food was always a part of every gathering, every outing, and every corner of my hometown, in Hawaii. Growing up, never feeling "beautiful", never satisfied, and surrounded by skinny a$$ girls with the perfect B&B's (boobs and booty) well, it's a tough crowd.  The pressure of trying to fit in, having friends, and of course boyfriends.. who the heck can one love themselves?

For me, I've never really embraced the person I was.  There was always something "wrong" with me.

I went about this healthy lifestyle, the wrong way. It took a good friend, Anna to tell me otherwise... I began to eat less in hopes to fit into the perfect size 2's. I exercised.. hard. Then the weight came off, but I realized .. that I was just never happy. I was down to 110 and there was always something else I wanted... It wasn't...  I wasn't good enough.. in my eyes.

It took me a while to "see" and to really feel, happy with myself. To realize that I am "perfect" the way I am.  And that this whole lifestyle journey is bigger than being thin as toothpicks..  The journey soon became about evolving.. growing.. as a woman. Finding strength in areas of my life, I never thought I could. It was about being active. It was about teaching my children the importance of a healthy lifestyle. I began to see the changes in my attitude and my outlook on life.

I no longer strive to be "thin as a toothpick" but I strive to challenge myself physically.. because if it's one thing I've learned.. it's that.. you can do anything you set your mind to. 

This song immediately brought tears to my eyes the very first time I heard it.. I didn't visualize a boy+girl theme.. I knew it was something deeper.. a little girl growing up in such a cruel world, surrounded by what is said to be the norm, a girl trying to find her place in this world, trying to fit in.. And finally realizing, that she was perfect all along...

Throw it in the bag...

Hubby has kept these "fat" jeans in his closet as a "safety-net" for far too long. He's been enjoying his smaller sizes and I know he never wants to revert to those "fat-jeans" again.. so in the midst of Spring Cleaning.. I said.. "Throw it in the bag.." And that he did. Say good-bye and never look back.

He recently started wearing tops that are a size smaller. I found a good deal at American Eagle a few weeks ago and bought him smaller size T's and he's been loving them.  I only wish I bought more. He was always hesitant to wear smaller sizes and always goes back to the baggier loose fitting T's.  He still has those in the closet claiming he can use it to go to sleep. I'm secretly trying to replace all those Big T's with just his size T's :) And in the end.. Throw them all in the bag :)

I'm so proud of him... He continues to strive to the next goal and has become a success story with each milestone.

Great Show...

 

The Jamie Oliver Food Revolution Show sneak peek was a great show and an eye opener. It's the kind of show that tells it like it is.. there is no sugar coating on it and astonishing at the same time. 

It's proof to show you that it all starts at home.. we as parent's need to show our kids the right way to eat and live an active lifestyle. It's our responsibility that they not fall into the plague of unhealthy eating habits and the importance of staying fit. 

Growing up, my family has always been big on cooking, but never on exercising. What I would give to see my mom gearing up for an afternoon run. The impact it would have made on me as a child who looked up to her parents on everything. 

As far as cooking goes.. my mom may have not always cooked the healthiest foods but she did teach me that fresh is better. She always cooked with fresh meat, and  fresh veggies.  I remember the first time I've ever had macaroni and cheese, I was 21. But having fresh spinach topped with cut up tomatoes started when I was a toddler.

In this generation where instant gratification has become a part of our lifestyle, we are surrounded with fast food, 24 hour Taco Bells, and processed everything.. We as parents are trying and taking steps towards a healthier lifestyle. For us it started, with us, as parents. When the kids see us saying "no" to McDonalds they are recognizing that fast food is not always the best food.

*********

Alright I'm bummed that I didn't get to see the end of it (darn politics).. I must now go look for it online.

So Proud...

of my man, my other half, my life-long partner.. 

We went out to dinner last night with his friends from work for a surprise Birthday Party... Watching him get dressed, putting on that same outfit (that I love) that he had on our photoshoot.. he looked amazing, radiant, gleaming..  I smiled at him, and simply adored him. He was happy, with himself and it showed.

My husband, the most modest man I know.. never likes to toot his own horn. Maybe it's because of his humble personality or his unwillingness to accept the changes or for fear that this would be a temporary change. But in just a matter of months, he has come from 200 lbs. to 180. He has reached his 20 lb. goal. And the best part, he hasn't stopped there, he is going for 170. He can't even remember the last time he was 170 and I've never seen him so motivated and so determined, this man is on fire.

And that flame in his eyes.. is what I saw that night. A man, finally comfortable under his own skin, knowing that he didn't give up, and that understanding that this process of a healthier lifestyle, is an everyday decision. I can see him striving for more, his accomplishments feed his desires, and his desires fuels his motivation. And in this journey, motivation is all you need.

**********

There comes a point where one settles in their life and although I would've been happy for him if he decided to stay in his comfort zone.. (scratch that) I don't think I could allow him to stay in his comfort zone... I love him enough to want him to be the best I know he can be.  And as his best friend and partner, I knew I would try everything to get him back on track, even though my help came in subtle ways. I was never one to make him get up and move. More so, I would get up and keep moving myself. I could not force him to eat the right foods, but I made sure I cooked and ate the right foods. Lead by example, was my intention. And I know after gaining his weight back in the midst of winter, after an amazing summer, it hurt me to see him, settling. It saddened me that I did my first 5K without him, after talking about it all summer. My runs became lonelier with out my partner who I had all summer long. But I kept going.. without my better half. 

**********

And now, just a couple of months later.. he is where I always knew he would be... back in jeans 2 sizes smaller. Feeling confident again, more active with a lot more energy to burn, and the best part, his will and determination to take this "challenge" to a whole new level. I've got my "running partner" back. He surprised me the other day by taking April 24th off, the day of my next race, to run it with me. That meant more to me than he realizes.

~ Whenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, don't look back at it too long. Mistakes are life's way of teaching you. Your capacity for occasional blunders is inseparable from your capacity to reach your goals. No one wins them all, and your failures, when they happen, are just part of your growth. Shake off your blunders. How will you know your limits without an occasional failure? Never quit. Your turn will come. 

Next Race.

Alaska's American Heart Association's Heart Run..

 
It's about 7 weeks away.. I'm excited as can be :) I'm really hoping the hubby can take the day off and join me on this run.  I plan on doing the timed 5K and I will try to train for time and improve my 10 min/mile and hoping to get a good steady pace of 9'30 or less.

I wrote this on Valentine's Day, along with my 10 Loves Album.. and I've been meaning to post it.

 

I *HEART* RUNNING.

I’m no athlete. I don’t claim to be. I never thought in all my 30+ years I’d even put my name and running in the same sentence. I absolutely “hated” PE growing up, any excuse I could make to get out of it, I would. Most of all the word, “Physical” just made me cringe that I would have to get up and work so hard...  As a child, you could clearly see why me and exercise were never a good combo. I was a pretty heavy kid, but then again, when you are surrounded with a family that loves to cook and eat, I’m sure you don’t expect thin, health conscious kids. Both my brother and I were, what my mom loved to call us “lut-meg” which meant “chubby” or “fat”.  I had the aunts that loved to squeeze our cheeks and then stuff our face with lumpia, pancit, and rice!  I mean that’s like 3 times the amount of carbs for a person. But I didn’t know any better. Then in my teen years, I slimmed down but was never fit. I still “hated” PE. Just the thought of running, made me tired. But it wasn’t till March of 2009, when I opened my eyes to “fitness” that I took on more challenges in my life. Sure I was looking for a way to burn off all these “lattes” but as soon as the weight shredded off, I was looking at running as a “challenge”. It became like an addiction and obsession all at once. I wanted to push myself to see what I could do. And all those “COULD NOT’s” I had as a child, were COULD, WOULD, AND WILLS”. It wasn’t till the summer months that I brought my love for running outdoors, and I fell head over heels in LOVE. The feeling you get from a good 4, 5, 6, and my longest 9 mile run... is euphoric.  And you embrace that feeling, of knowing that you can do anything as long as you set your mind to it. Today, running (even in 10 degree weather) is a part of my life. I always make the time and effort to escape and get into my zone. And from there I dream.. dream big!

A Tale of A Runner's First 5K.

The night before, she is restless.
She is altogether nervous and anxious all rolled into one.
She fidgets through the night, awaiting for her eyes to get heavy enough to get some much needed rest. But rest does not come easy to her tonight. She heads to bed at 10 pm, only to stay awake till the wee hours of the morning.

She doubts herself,
she doubts her abilities,
and she is left wondering, why?
Why does she even need to do this race?
What is this gonna prove?
Why does she need to do this?
Why do you even like running?
More importantly, why do you like running during the winter?

She really didn't have many answers.. just that, she loved this strange addiction of running. Nothing to prove to anyone, only to herself, that there is simply nothing you cannot do. That alone became the driving force for her first ever.. 5K.

The alarm is set for 7:30 but she is already up before it goes off.
No yawning or stretching and saying, "oh what a gorgeous day!"
It was more like, jumping out of bed to look out the window, then to her phone to see the temperature.
10 Degrees.
She becomes her very own cheerleader, encouraging herself that she can do this.
"Come on, you've ran in colder weather before.. you can do this!"

She is not sure what to eat.. "I should've googled it," she thought. Then opted for a mini wheat bagel with peanut butter.

She's tanking down water, only to go pee again. "I'm just like those 'pee-pee' dolls,"  she thought. 
"I just hope I don't pee myself.."

**********

The roads are blocked.
She is restless.
It's showtime.

She has to walk to the starting point. She gets out of the car, trembling in the cold. Searching for anyone with a running bib on, anyone? There they are, huddled around Starbucks.  People of all ages. She enters Starbucks to stay warm. "I'm sure I'm not the only one coming in here and not buying anything she thought.." Her eyes roam around checking out the people. Some people are dressed up because it's a 'fun-run' and most are equipped with warm gear.  She over hears a bunch of young ladies talking about how cold it is outside on one table. In the other corner, a group of guys dressed up in green tights, giving attention to the new Android phone for ACS . A woman standing in the restroom line by herself.  Good idea, she thought.  (Tip one from her good friend, Lynne) "Go early so you can find a restroom," echoes in her head much like Dark Vader talking to Luke. Or switch that up, maybe Yoda giving advice "Bathroom you shall find and use." Either way, she was in line, about to let it go for the last time, hoping this will be enough.

**********

It's time.
She walks out into the starting point. She doesnt' see her husband yet. So she asks a stranger to take a photo of her. The crowd huddles in the starting point. She stands in the front, wondering if this is the best place to be. The announcer says, "The race will begin in 10 minutes.." That seemed like the longest and most anxiously awaited 10 minutes of her life. She finally sees her man, all bundled up, in the sidelines supporting her. He snaps away capturing this special day for her. She is delighted to see him.

As minutes turn into seconds, she is lost in the crowd that surrounds her. She is filled with questions as she wonders what it felt like to be trampled on? She wondered if she had to book it, so that she won't get trampled on.

"10, 9, 8.... 2, 1" The gun goes off.

And there she goes.

**********

Her first initial reaction was to 'book-it'... more afraid of being trampled on. After a few minutes of gaining speed, she knew that she had to slow down. This route was different, unfamiliar, all to new for this runner who likes routine.  She has ran the same route for the past year, she knew how to approach the same hills, where to dodge the cracks on the ground, and at what point the music should be at certain points of her run. But this... this was new. She began to feel a bit overwhelmed at all the people that seem to appear out of the corner of her peripherals. To calm herself down she resorted to what she knew best. Her mind drifted to the music.  "Imma Be," by the BEP was on. This is where she hits the corner of her block. She slowly envisioned the streets she had ran for so long. Passing the gas station, strolling through the hill on Provider. She was in her zone. Smiling and singing to herself, she focused on the runners in front of her.

The terrain was a difficult one. Ice stood between her feet and the gravel that tried to place traction for the runners. But still she noticed she slipped every now and then. And like the fellow runners, she steered toward the mounds of snow even though she had to lift her legs up more to "hop" over it.

"In the last leg of the race, focus on one person and keep up with them or try to outrun them.." A great advice from a fellow runner, stayed in her mind throughout the run.

She focused on the lady with the pink shirt and striped socks.. For the entire race, she was either behind her or passed her, either way, they remained close in distance. 

**********

She finished the race without even realizing it and not paying attention to the huge time clock mounted on a truck in front of her. Luckily, her man had taken the photograph when she arrived.

A surge of endorphins with added elation came over her as she slowed down, ripping off her head phones. She's never felt more proud.. of this moment in her life. The best part, seeing her man, at the finish line, congratulating her despite getting off a mid-shift, made this moment mean so much more. 

**********

She did it.
Another moment seized.
Never say never.
You can do anything, that you set your mind to.
The sky is truly the limit.

**********

On the ride home, she googles "upcoming races in anchorage".
Found one for April 24.
She's ready for more.

Taking It To A Whole New Level.

I've only been running since April (?) and since then I've met some amazing women who venture out there on foot just like me and go the distance. Not because they have to, but because they enjoy this journey just as much as I do. Many of these women have been doing it a lot longer than me and I used to think they were "crazy" to think they could enjoy such "torture". Now I stand on the same side as them and loving every minute (well most days) that I do get the chance to get out for a good run.

Most of us use the Nike Plus Gadget and not only is it great way to track distance and miles for my personal use, but the online community is always inspiring us to go the distance and push further. Recently a few of my girlfriends have been setting goals, quite fitting for the new year, and have set challenges in our Nike Plus Community.

Last week I joined my good friends Lori and Melissa for a Nike Plus Challenge 750 miles in 2010.
So far I rank 54 .. but I will keep going :)

It's just a fun way to get me motivated and keep going :)

Other challenges I am putting myself against is doing a 5K in a few weeks and training for the half marathon in the summer. I'm so excited! I always tell hubby.. when I think about it, my tummy has butterflies :)

Enjoying..

I've been doing a lot of running outdoors lately. The weather has been next to perfect. I know, I can't explain it, I really enjoy the colder air for running. But most importantly, I'm enjoying that time that is made "just for me." The key word here is "enjoying". As strange as it sounds and and as it difficult as it is to comprehend, but I do it because it's more of an enjoyment. And if you are enjoying what you are doing.. you will do it. Enjoyment fuels desire.

Initially running was a way to shred the weight, just another form of exercise, then it became like a challenge, wanting to see what my body is capable of. At the end of the day it comes down to me, tying my running shoes on, pounding my feet on that pavement, and feeling the wind against my face as I stare out into the vast mountains. I've realized that inside every runner is a little girl or by running carefree against the world. And that is what it's all about.. an enjoyment of sorts for me, a chance to take hold of that inner child in me. Everything starts with fun, a sense of play. Lacking that... all is lost. Although runners work very hard at it, most love what they do and get an elemental charge from it.

This was a great hour, the weather was a balmy 26 degrees (?) and halfway through my run I actually started peeling off layers of clothing, I was burning up. And all I kept thinking is I don't want to turn back.. But I guess I had to. But it was a great day to get out there to find some peace and clarity.

I squeezed a quick run before I headed to a full day at work. It's amazing what a new shirt can do for you.. it makes you want to get out there and use it :) So while hubby went out to run an errand, I decided to head out for a run instead. So I put dinner in the crock pot, did a load of laundry, and headed out.

I took a break from running this weekend. Instead we went to Spin Class on Saturday.. I forgot how much I loved that class. My hubby loves those sprints.. me, not so much. But wow, what a different kind of burn!  Of course right after that class we felt rejuvenated and ready to tackle on the day.

I'm sure I'll be back sharing some amazing quotes from that book I got:

 

"Methinks that the moment my legs begin to move, my thoughts begin to flow.." ~ Henry David Thoreau