January, where did you go? That's the thing with time, isn't it? It keeps moving even when you don't want it to.
"You will get there when you're meant to get there,
and not one moment sooner...so relax, breathe, and be patient."
Here's a quote that has been resonating with me. A "LOT" is going on in my head. My mind has been in constant battle mode and I've literally exhausted myself with the "What ifs" and "Why is this happening". There's this quote that I snap shotted and saved in camera roll:
Ain't that the truth. (insert emoji with the hands praising in the air).
Moving. It's a part of life, well our life, the military life. And I knew this day was coming, I knew our tour here in Hawaii would come to a screeching halt after 3 years, but I remained hopeful that somehow, somewhere, The Gods of "Please don't make us move again" would hear me crying out. But, then again, That's Life (in the military).
The news is not new, I knew about it several months ago, but it wasn't till last week, the news became our reality when you get that notice saying "YOU, are going here (whether it makes sense or not, or whether you like or not). It doesn't matter, That's Life (in the military).
Nearly 20 years of this nomad living, packing up and leaving, saying "hello my name is.." to "It was so nice knowing you.." you would think, I could ease up by now and learn a few things. Maybe never leave the base and never make friends. But that's not me, oh clearly that has never been me. I am a "People Person". I genuinely love meeting people, getting to know them, and bonding with them. I love experiencing new things and putting my all into it. So in the midst of my new adventure with school in this Graphic Arts Program which I fell in love with the minute I walked into a classroom... it was hard for me to fathom the idea that I would have to end it. (Well put it on hold, again). It was hard for me to look back and see how far I've gotten (and I say this without a grain of salt because Math nearly killed me) and say to myself "maybe next time".
That's when the idea of staying would become my only solution. I needed to stay, to finish what I started, I needed to stay. The idea of ending what I've worked so hard on broke my heart and led me to tears every single time. But it seems the odds were ever in my favor... because again, that's not me, I could not let my children venture off to a new place, a new school, and be without me. They need me.. and bless my husband who has been nothing but patient throughout this whole ordeal, he needs me to. My husband may be the sole provider of this household, but it's clear to see, the mother/wife is the staple of the unit. I appreciate my husband and his career as it has led us to places I've only dreamt of, but let's not forget the role of military mothers and wives, who constantly place their children's needs, their husbands' needs ahead of their own, day in and day out. We may not be the bread winners of the household, but without us, there would be no warm hearts and laughter to fill up the new home. We take the toughest of situations and make the best of it. We force a smile just so the kids won't have to feel our heartache and to remind them that we will be alright, because we as mothers would sacrifice anything to pave the way for our children. But then again, That's Life (in the military).
We will be packing up and leaving Hawaii sometime in July, en route to San Antonio Texas. Dogs and all, minus my oldest. He's decided to stay back to finish school and continue dancing. I don't blame him, he's established some really good relationships here and his grandparents are here. (I'll have to save this heart wrenching topic for another post)
So Texas... it's not so bad. I've heard nothing but great things in San Antonio. Back in 1997 we lived in a smaller town called San Angelo where Walmart was a big deal. But I hear San Antonio is quite the opposite, it's the 7th largest populated city. The schools are good and the job opportunity as a Graphic Artist seems hopeful. I'm probably the most positive person I've met... I may have been kicking and screaming for a few days, but I get right back up, stronger. Lots of mixed emotions run through me, I'm sure I'll have my fair share of ups and downs as the time gets closer. But, I'm not gonna worry about things I have no control over. For now, I'll google the area, look at schools for me, malls for my daughter, road trips for my middle guy, and look forward to a new adventure with my husband. Because, That's Life (in the military).
Until then, I will keep this in mind: