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September 2006

MIA

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"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face...You must do the thing you cannot do." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

In the midst of the pain and the uncertainties I am dealing with, I find ways to help me stand tall, as a reminder that this life, although unfair at times, has a greater meaning, one that I cannot comprehend sometimes.

I may be a woman with faith strong enough to move mountains.  There are times, even the strongest are tested to see how they will hold up.  There are days I feel like my soul has been battered and bruised, and left out in the cold.  But for every dark day, it is surely followed by 10 brighter ones.  Just enough to remind  me that even though, darkness has fell upon me.  God has showered me with days of happiness and filled my heart with peace even though the unknown surrounds me.  The thing is, we don't know what to expect in this life of ours.  There is no reason to burden our hearts with the unknown.

I took some time from blog land to "find-myself" and get back on the bandwagon.  What did I do?  I focused my energy and time, chasing my dream.  These past few days, I let my passion for life win me over.  I took picture after picture. I booked photo shoot after photo shoot.  I lost myself in the one thing that I can call my own, the thing that makes me, me.  I realigned myself with God and focused on His plan for me. I met with the executives of the Children's Ministry to take on a leading role that I am so excited about.  A bit over whelming at first being in charge of a crew of people since I feel like I'm always the one being told what to do. But I know God has set a path for me to be a leader and I am thankful. 

So for those who have been emailing, msn'g, or calling.  I am good.  Thank you for your thoughtfulness.  And I wish there were more people like you guys in the world.  Please continue to keep my mother in your prayers, her surgery to do a hysterectomy is today.  Until then, check out my Artistic Maternity Shots.



Busy Bee.

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This is what happens when you set your mind to accomplish things, an overwhelming response for photo shoots! 

Thank YOU GUYS again, from the bottom of my heart for your continued thoughts and prayers!  It means so much to me!!!  I have been coming to grips with the reality of it all, some days are better than others.  But I need to continue doing what I have been doing.  I feel like a week off, of just being home, and no work, was a great way to soak up in my thoughts and get myself together.  Albeit, this is a long road, I know I am woman who is very strong. Although, I can still be broken at times, I find strength in our Almighty One.

I've been editing and booking, winter is just around the corner, (with the heater already on in our home!)  I am making the most of outdoors!!

I have plenty more to say, plenty more to vent, and a lot of deep thoughts coming your way!!!

I finally figured out how to use Type Pad's templates for my own domain! (Thanks to Sarah)

My RBARUT PHOTOGRAPHY WEBSITE



Thank You.

Thank you to all who have left a message, called, or emailed to voice their concern!  Your prayers and support means so  much to me and my family.

I decided to take advantage of a beautiful day and do a photo shoot that I've been wanting to do for a while.  To the "K" family!  You guys were awesome!  Thanks! 

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Until then.. I'm LOVIN this new song by the Dixie Chicks..  The lyrics are so poignant!  Until then!


Praise You In This Storm.

Not your usual upbeat blog.
Not your usual "Be Strong" talk.
Not the kind of news anyone wants to hear.
But then again, everyone hopes it doesn't happen to them, someone you know or worst, someone you love.

Hear me now, I will never question what God has in store for all of us.  Even in my darkest days, I still have a magnitude of faith to carry my family and I through these rough times.  I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel just yet, but with the continuous love and support from family and friends, I hold
my head up high, each and everyday.

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Annako. (My Child)

The news of my mother came late last night.  News that have literally rocked my world and turned it upside down, (for now.) As I listened to her gasp, pause, and try to hold it together.  She said, "Annako, I have cancer." 

It felt like it literally knocked the wind right out of me.  As I sat there, it seems like the world was spinning around me.  This can't be happening, I said in my head over and over again.  I tried and tried to hold it together, and then a wave of helplessness came over me, as I felt like a vulnerable little girl, crying out for her mommy.  The kind of cry when a child does not want to see her mommy go. 

"No.. mommy, mommy I love you... mommy no.. I want to come home.. mommy.."

As I sat there crying out to my mother of 56 years.  Helpless is what I felt. She tried to comfort me on the other end.  She told me to be strong.. and that is what I am doing, staying strong with enough faith to move mountains. A sense of calmness comes over me as I continue to praise Him in this storm!

The Sheer Reality.

When reality comes knocking, sometimes you don't want to open the door.  Like my good friend, Anna said, you have to come to terms with it, you can't keep it locked up, hoping it will go away. (Thanks by the way Anna.. these days would have been tougher, if it wasn't for your continued love and support!) So that is where I am today.  Taking it all in, one day at a time.  Talking to friends and finding support all around me.  (Lynne, thank you for being there!) I do believe in the power of prayer, as I ask you to keep my mother and my family in your thoughts and prayers, for God to grant us all the strength during our time of struggle. 

With much love from this side of the world, even in my darkest hours!

Praise HIM in the storm.


Girls Just Wanna.. Scrap!

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Anna and I got together on Friday to scrap.  Needless to say, the kids had their own intentions of how this day was gonna turn out!  While I whipped out my sewing machine, and tried to sew every piece of paper in sight, (yes it was that fun!) Anna was still busy unpacking her things!  I should have taken a picture of the mega luggage she brought and then some! Anna has a "thing" for buttons right now, as you can see from the pics, she did not mind giving the kids one of her many containers of buttons to play with!

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Whatever keeps them busy we thought. We just want to accomplish something today!  Two more pages of this Fair Album and I'm done.  But I had to take a break, I got a nasty cold this weekend, that has put all my scrapping mojo to a hault. So I will be sitting on my bum, recovering!  I hope everyone has a great Monday!


Ninety-Three.

1993. Where were you?  How old were you?  I was 16, Sophomore at Farrington High school, back in Hawaii!  I had just started dating my hubby.  I was of course, invincible and it was "Ro-Ro's way or the Highway!" Hubby and I found albums on itunes that will take you back to any year.. we clicked on 93, 94, and 95 and we were cracking up! I love how music acts like a time warp, taking you back, where you can almost still sense the emotion at that one moment in time.

Whoomp, there it is! *Warning, old, old, pictures.. photoshop could NOT do anything to them!

That's right CROSS COLORS.. Come on.. stop hiding, you had em!  right? That is me, in the bright orange pants.. and yes, I thought I was cool!  I really was Too Legit, Too Legit too quit, hey hey!
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That was the year of "Baby, baby, baby.." and "Chasing Waterfalls" as I walked through the hallways as if, Kriss Kross made the boys "Jump, Jump!" And all the girls wanted to do, was "Shoop, shoopy doop.." Where Toni Braxton sang, "Another Sad Love Song" that would make a girl cry over and over about her first love. It surely did not help that Whitney Houston found ways to say "I will Always Love You. "Then on the rebound, you find yourself doing the "Rump-Shaker" with a new beau! 

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Well although It was So Hard to Say Goodbye to good times, Like a moth on the flame that got burnt by the fire, That's the way love goes.. our fashion sense and all.. I'd do anything for love, but I won't do that, wear orange pants again!

Have a great Friday.  I am off to enjoy a day of scrapping with my good friend, Anna.  For those that did not understand the lingo, it's okay, you are not missing anything!  It's just to show ya, the kind of music I listened to as a teen! 

Until then, you know I had to add a decent picture in!  My princess, Ms. Isabel.  I just got my reflectors in, so I will be busy today, having fun and practicing!

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K-I-S-S-I-N-G

"First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Ethan with a ..." yeah let's stop that there.. 

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But my 3rd grader has got an admirer that's for sure.. She's a cutie.. and this afternoon, she wrote with chalk on my driveway, "Ethan is HOT!"  She's been liking my boy since they were both in the 1st grade! (You don't think it's serious?) Ha..ha.. My boy is simply oblivious to the whole thing, he'd rather, play video games, skateboard, and skateboard.. but once in awhile I'll catch them jumping on that trampoline, talking and laughing. It's quite cute.  I think he's over the "girl's have cooties" stage.  After all he's seen his big brother mack on girls already! I've already had talks with my 10 year old about girlfriends.  Sheesh! I did not think it would come so soon! 

Well, I've been suffering a migraine pretty much all day.. and it has just started to hit me once more. It really is no fun at all!  Sensitivity to light and sound, pretty much means I can't do much without making it worst!  I hope everyone has a great Thursday.. *And Thursday Nights are now Grey's Anatomy new night!  I love when all the new shows come back!!*


The Good Life.

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”~ Dr. Seuss

Wednesday. Middle of the week. Half way done or half way there. It was another gorgeous sunny day in Alaska, (still a bit too cold for me, the island girl) but I enjoyed it outdoors. I have not been on the computer much these past few days, just really enjoying time with friends, family, and neighborhood kids! And really, that's what life is all about, right?

I remember reading somewhere that Living the Good Life is simply:

  • Contacting nature everyday, feeling the earth under your feet.
  • Find a job you enjoy.
  • Be at peace with yourself.
  • Don't worry, live one day at a time.
  • Share something everyday with someone else
  • Take time to marvel at all the life in the world.

Have you done any of these things today? Try one or two, trust me, it's worth it!

These are some pics from the Alaska State Fair from a few weeks ago.  I'm getting ready to scrap this baby! Lots of fun and colorful photos.  I LOVE this photo, playing with the shutter speed on all these rides was the fun part!

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And I LOVE watching the carousel!  It's such a nostalgic ride, isn't it? I did not take much photos of my little girl on it, because.. *get this* I was busy eyeballing this man taking pics of my daughter on the carousel, he then approaches me and asked if she was mine, as I stared down at his 5D 70-200 lens, phew!  I was drooling, ladies! He showed me the shots he got, and wow that lens is awesome, as I buried my cheesy 20D and 50mm lens under my sweater. We started to talk, you know I got my photographer face on, nodding my head, and a serious tone as if I've been doing this for years.  I told him of my studio and how I preferred natural light and how today was a great day for photographs because it was an overcast day. (I sounded professional, ladies, you would have been proud!) He then asked if he could use the pics he took of her for an Alaska Magazine that covered the State Fair.  I signed the release form, he gave me his card. Anyway, I just had to share that one.

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Well, my friend, Keri, hubby, and I are officially hooked onto watching House on Fox.  Brilliant show, Hugh Laurie is hilarious with his "tell it like it is" mannerism!  Another show on my DVR! Alright have a great Wednesday!


Only Tuesday.

Mondays are always one of the hardest days.. motivation wise.  How do any of us get back on the bandwagon after having a carefree weekend?  I don't know! I'm still trying to figure it out.  Got these delivered today.  It is the coolest thing!  It's mega huge!  Family of 5,6,7? No problem! Bring em on! 

I've been busy "brainstorming" ways to kick up this business. I don't think I can just sit still without 100's of things runnning around in my mind and things just awaiting to be done! Needless to say the house is in shambles, but I've got work on the brain.  I'm the type of person where I need to work with structure. I cannot just go with the flow because then I will be overwhelmed and unorganized. I have several families on that waiting list of mine. And I expect a lot more from a photographer friend who is leaving soon. I really need to:

  • Create my portfolio.
    • Print photos in various sizes.
    • Different subjects. (Babies, toddlers, child, siblings, families, friends, pregnancy, weddings...)
  • Create a brochure!
  • Business Cards. I've been asked way to many times to not have one yet!
  • Keep practicing with these lights!
  • Place print orders from previous clients.

Well I won't bore you all with that list, but some of you know the work it takes to get it out there!!!

Alright here is the beginning of the album, I did the digi on this one.

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And here is the link to the album, I felt like the post would have been way to long to post them separately:

My 29th Birthday

Well on Sunday, as I loaded my washing machine, I looked out to see the same group of kids playing with my kids and they really are awesome kids, so I asked hubby if he wanted to do a little BBQ for those kids, hot dogs and chips.  He agreed. And in an hour we had over 16 kids in our home!  So what does a  "photographer" mom do?  That's right, line the children up one by one to take pics! And kids, espcially girls, love getting their pics taken!  (Have no fear, their parents know I'm the photographer on the block!) 300 photos later, I think I got my photo-fix, fixed! 

Sister and Brother.

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And that's a wrap! Have a great Tuesday!


nine-eleven.

5 years ago, we all witnessed a tragic moment in time.  Every year on this very day, I can't help but to think what we were doing on this fateful day. Alan Jackson said it best in his song, Where were you? (Oh yes, I am a country fan as well!) We were stationed in Maryland, I had just dropped my oldest to school, and we were on our way to an orientation for Ethan's new preschool.  On the drive there I kept hearing the news over and over about some Twin Tower, not really stopping to listen to it all, just kept switching the tuner. 

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All of sudden there was traffic on base, gates were being closed down, and I finally heard what the announcer had been trying to say. A sense of panic and fear crept up, as I reached over to find my cell phone. How am I going to pick up my son?  These gates are closing. Call Rodel, where is he?  After hours of traffic, I met the rest of my family at home.  We were glued to the tv as we witnessed the horrible scene over and over again.  Only to find my oldest son, starting to draw pictures of an airplane crashing into the towers.  I cried, we all cried.

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Ground Zero one year later, there was a fence blocking the surroundings, hence the lines in the pic.

I have never been so affected that I was engrossed by the media, by the moments leading to, and after such tragedy. Weeks after, the wound of watching thousands of people lose their life from a senseless act, still affected us. Weeks turned into months, then years.  We are all still thinking about it. These pictures were taken at Ground Zero, a year later.  My friend had won a trip to NYC to be on the set of The View (of course at that time, there were different hosts).  So we took the bus, then hailed a cab (yikes), and got to our hotel. 3 days and 2 nights, just us 2 (oh and I was 4 months pregnant with Isabel!). Seeing this up close and personal, defintely set out a somber mood. It almost seemed so surreal.

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All along the fence, signs and notes for loved ones lost.


Going back in a little sliver moment in time there.  How was everyone's weekend?  Was it pretty uneventful like mine?  Well despite feeling like I may be coming down with a nasty cold, I just wanted to scrap!

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Have you all seen the new Making Memories Cheeky Abby Collection? It was a different look for me, very girly! But it was perfect for my Birthday Pictures! I LOVE, I SAID LOVE the TEXTURED TAPE! So I did not hesitate to buy The Album to scrap my birthday photos! And I'm done!  But I will share them tomorrow!  Have a great day!