I need to jot these notes down before I forget.. I am doing One Layout A Day for the month of December.
Today is a day one of my Merry and Bright Christmas Photoshoot. I've decided to shoot at the store, and it even made more sense to schedule a bunch of shoots in one day. As usual, I underestimate myself. I filled up in a matter of days, which is very exciting but also nerve racking. A lot goes on in my little head.. like "What was I thinking?" "Can I really do this?" But Paula and I handled ourselves with grace and determination, after all this was my time. The Holiday Season, was my time to shine as a photographer.
Needless to say, the day turned into night and I paced myself pretty steady, keeping it at every hour. Little did I know the next day I will be slammed with booking by the half hour, all due to the simple fact, I cannot turn anyone down for the life of me. I came home completely exhausted, the boys slept over their friends house, I had not seen them all day. Isabel was nestled in daddy's arm. I miss her terribly and more important, I miss him.
Be Careful What You Wish For.
You might just get it all.. that simple line from Daughtry's "Coming Home." stayed in my head all day. I awoke to a windy and chilly Sunday morning in Anchorage. Still no snow.. what's up with that. One more day, you can do this.. was a thought I tried to stick with.
My clients were rolling in. Some of which I've seen many times before, all hoping for the same outcome. And I on the other hand, nervous.. wondering if I can give them that same rapport from the last time. You see when your hobby/passion becomes your job and your job becomes your hobby.. well, you lose that passion. It gets over used.. kind of like eating your favorite food over and over again.. you lose that taste.. well in this case you lose sight of why you really loved it to begin with. But I remember all to clearly this time last year, wishing for more business, for more clients.. I wanted to spread my wings, I wanted it all.. I wanted to be the one. I wanted that person to tell another person.. and that person will tell another person. I wanted that domino effect. Yes, Be Careful What you Wish for, you just might get it all. The key, to find balance.
Balance, an act I cannot find.
So here I am, tired as could be.
My body has physically been pushed to it's limit.
My migraine is here to stay, once again.
My camera bags have not been unpacked.
The house is a wreck.
So many things to do.
More things I want to do.
My kids need me more.
It's my day, I'm allowed one of those.
My phone won't stop ringing. Left it in the car.
Just one of those days.
I sit in my living room, surrounded with laundry.
I find peace, as Dora sings with boots, Isabel falls asleep.
Staring out the window.
Thinking of things I cannot control.
Husband going back on shift, here we go again.
A workload of photos to sift through.
My mom, I miss her.
Tired. Eyes shut.
Hubby Saves The Day.
He saw how frustrated I was over the weekend. He just knows me. In fact, he knew just how I would be before it even happened. He took the rest of the week off, to help me. To let me do my thing. To watch the kids, to clean the house, to cook dinners, to be my chauffeur, and to go Christmas Shopping. And I know he's getting ready to go back to shift work on the 17, so in a way, he's just preparing me :)
Bought some good tunes today from iTunes, A Fine Frenzy. It's very relaxing, in a Grey Anatomy kind of way. We did some Christmas Shopping today. Isabel was so easy to shop for, but the boys are making this Christmas a little more difficult. They are not quite into toys like they have been. The oldest, just wants clothes and cash! And the middle one, says he doesn't want anything.. So we are clueless.
Went over to Melissa's today to do The Belly Cast. It was such a cute idea. There are so many things I wished I had done, now that I know I will never have any more. I never got those cute pregnancy photos nor a belly cast. It was fun, we learned that the Belly Cast, dries pretty quickly! I can't wait to see the final product!
It was a good day. Quite relaxing. I got through a bulk of editing. I can almost see the light! I know, soon I will be back to my normal self.
Now that's a Merry and Bright Christmas for ya!