Sometimes it's hard to grasp the idea that we've been married 12 years today...
Then & Now.
then again, there are times it seems like no time has passed at all and
that we are still stuck in that moment in time, where it was all about
"us". Young and carefree, when we felt like the world revolved around just
he and I. The days where I looked for him in the hallways at High School.
Those days are long gone but here we are, together and I have to admit, happier than those "tween" years. Maybe it's because at that age, you are still trying to figure it all out. Trying to find who you are, as an individual let alone as a young couple in (ga, ga) "love." Now, in our 30's, three children later, one of which is almost a teenager himself, and with our "baby" going off to Kindergarten in the fall. We are older, hopefully wiser, and we have invested those early years in our children's lives, now they are "school-aged" also known as, time for mom to focus on her dreams
. I find our marriage a little more "mature" than it did a year ago. Maybe because I've grown so much in one short year as an individual and have now entered a time in my life where I am trying to balance my goals and my "home" life. Fairy Tales & Realizations.
my recent discovery of love stories again (despite the fact that Edward
is a vampire in love with a mere mortal Bella, the point is that these two
were willing to face anything together, just to know that at the very
end of it all, they will have the one thing they have been fighting
for, and that is to be together.) Now that's a love story!
realized that I am and
will always be this hopeless romantic at heart. Nothings wrong with
that, but my views of love, relationships, and how a man's role should
be in a relationship remains to be slightly elevated on the
table. I mean, what girl does not want a "fairy-tale" love story to
pass down. I have yet to meet a woman who does not crave the
attention, the "happily ever after", or the feeling of being constantly
wanted and needed. Just like water is necessary for survival (or should I say blood for vampires), women
thirst and crave that "fairy-tale" love story that they drew up in
their minds from a childhood of fairy tale princess' finding their one
and only true love. We all crave this desire to be loved like there is no tomorrow (or
as if vicious blood-sucking vampires are out to kill us). And in our
years of marriage, there are days we go on without even a "Thank You"
for loving me... Again, maybe because our morality is not in question,
and we simply don't get to choose when our days on earth will end.
what I've learned is that in all our marriages, we have our "Edward" in
one form or another (just preferably not a 130 year old stuck in a
strikingly perfect 18 year old body!) He sits among us, and whether you
acknowledge him or not.. he's there. Our "Edward" wants to love us
the same way Edward loves Bella... but 9 times out of 10, they really
don't know how. Sometimes, they need to know what you want in a
"relationship". So as the wives, we need to voice our opinions.. tell
them what we want. And I bet you, they will listen. I'm sure their
goals as husbands is to place a smile on your face, everyday... to love
you the way you deserved to be loved. Communication is
the key. And for some reason, couples get lost in that very line that
should be holding them together. Communication get's lost in the midst
of all the chaos (or just life). The worst thing to do is to "assume"
that everything is okay. When in truth, love, marriage, or in any
relationship it should be tended to like a delicate flower..
A Learning We Will Go.
With each passing year, I do learn more and more about this thing
called "love". We both continue to learn things about one another and
some things become more tolerable as you come to the realization that
this is how "he" is or this is just how "he" reacts to things.
I'm pretty sure no one goes about their everyday lives as if this was
gonna be their last... we strive to, but with our busy lives, there are
days we are just happy we made it through one day, yet alone one week.
And maybe this is the one day out of the entire year when you do all your
reflecting on your lives together. But not us, we've learned that this marriage is about us, as husband and wife. We
make a point to do things together as a couple and as parents.
I love that he enjoys the same things I do (like these series of
books). ***By the way I am anxiously awaiting Book 4 now and hubby is wrapping up Book 3, can't wait to talk about it, finally! Riding bikes and being out there. We both enjoy our down time
where I get to scrapbook or surf the internet while he plays his online
games. And when the time comes for us to just cuddle in front of a
good movie.. we do.
Well in the past 12 years.. what have I learned about our life together as Mr. & Mrs. :
Reality TV vs. A Quiet Dinner.
- Say "I Love You." Always. Even when your pissed off.
- Love Unconditionally. What is there to hold back? Love casts out all fear.
- Make time for one another and do things together.
- Do your own thing. Be independent, it's quite liberating!
- Get Mad. But don't go to bed angry.
- Cry. Women are emotional creatures. He'll get it someday.
- Be silly. He could laugh with you are at you, either way it's all good!
- Put a dress and heels on. I've learned that men (well at least my hubby) are very visual people. They like to see their wives in a new "sexy" outfit every now and then.
- Be yourself. Your man loves you for YOU.
Well we didn't quite make it to our dinner date as planned. Even with Tivo on hand for the Finale of American Idol, I just could NOT, not watch it. You should have seen how many times I texted last night...and voted for this David to win. It worried me that Simon gave Archuleta all the praises from the night before, cause as you know I am a COOK fan... so I texted from all three cell phones in this house! And it was well worth it! Cause David Cook finally took the winning title as our next American Idol. I was so excited, there was a tear or two trickling down my face. Not to worry, we have the weekend to go out!