I just really want to THANK YOU! You know who you are... for the emails, phone calls, FB messages... for the thoughtfulness and simple act of kindness.. it has meant more to me than you guys will ever know. There's so many "sweet" and thoughtful people out there.. from close friends, to family, to people I've never even met in person, and to people that have come into my life, left, only to be heard from again... You guys are all amazing. May God bless you guys tenfold for all the joy you have brought in my life.
I walked into the shoppette, smiling till my cheeks hurt. It's funny how a smile is contagious..
The clerk looks over at me... and he says "Good Afternoon!"
I perk up and replied right away, "Good afternoon to you too!"
He turned, to look at me, almost surprised.. that someone replied to him. Not just in a melancholy way.. but in a way, where I meant every word! He continue to says, "Well, I see that this cloudy day didn't get you down!"
I guess he's heard enough complaints about the weather in Alaska.
I cheerfully replied, "Hey everyday is a good day, when you are blessed to wake up to a new day!"
He smiled, as if I just reminded him.. that life is good.
(15 minutes earlier.)
The hospital door swung open, I walked out of there with my head held high, my phone already dialing my husband's work place, and the feeling like I was moving onward. On this cloudy & cold day.. it was all good. I recieved good news of my health situation. It may just be the beginning of a long journey.. but for now, today, I had good news, and I will take that.. and run with it.
"Well, Mrs. Barut, we've got good news, we were able to remove the area that we were concerned about. And we also removed an even larger area surrounding the tissues and it looks good. The diagnosis was that the cells were in "carcinoma in situ". We would strongly suggest you follow up, in 2 weeks and then every 3 months thereafter."
I smiled. I can do that, I said. I don't mind coming back.
I know that a long journey lies ahead of me..and I'd like to believe the worst is now over.. but the truth is, this is the beginning of learning how to care for myself, and to put myself first, which I am guilty of not doing. So since starting this post on LAST Monday.. I've been doing just that... taking care of myself. I started with some major stress releasers.. running.
I wish I could sit and explain to you how a 6 mile run makes me feel so damn good. But until you get that feeling of elation while subjecting your feet, your body, your mind, and soul to long distance running.. I don't think I could even start explaining it. Now granted I didn't just jump back into running. There was a lot of walking/jogging/walking/running/ and walking again.
My new motivation comes just started to run with me, my son. I can't tell you how long I've been waiting for this day!
I'm starting to feel like myself again... and slowly getting everything else together. I finally made a menu for this week. Most importantly I finally have a plan (well so far).
I'm hoping to get back into the blog world. But for now, taking it one day at a time.