It's been a rough week. Filled with worry, pain, & heartache.
I feel like my emotions have been thrown around like a rag doll and with my lifeless self, I somehow manage to maintain this 100 mph speed at which I'm going. But today, I'm finally slowing down, taking it all in, and now the tears I tried so hard to fight off are catching up with me. As I try to hold them back.. I realize, sometimes we just need a good "cry". We all need to feel "exposed" and to just let that pain sink in.
It's so hard to be away from home..It's especially harder when the people you love are in not doing well.
I don't know if I just grew a thicker coat on (well in Alaska, you kinda have to) but I don't remember the last time, I really missed home (Hawaii).. Till this week.
So much going on at home with my mom that being thousands of miles away and not being able to give her a hug each time she cried, shatters this already broken heart to pieces over and over again. And my sweet grandfather who is pushing 96 years old.. is in the hospital. Things are not looking good for him as well.
Meanwhile, a thousand miles away.. I'm just trying to keep it all togther.