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July 2013

June 2013

The Opaque Window. (Snippet)

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"Slowly she unravels the layers that has been shielding her for a while, with each word of spoken truth, tears run down her face, as she stood transparent in his eyes. She knows that being transparent is the only way to move forward to openness and genuine intimacy." -- me

To often we hide our self from others, for fear of rejection, lack of self confidence, or because there are deep scars intertwined with an unbearable wound. We hide our broken hearts or unfilled voids with a smile. All the meanwhile, we pretend to our selves and to the people around us. We chose to live this life because it's easier than being transparent, we stay hidden behind these veils.

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I am slowly writing more and more about my journey to healing and letting go. It has taken me a while for me to get here, to a place where I am comfortable in my own skin, to be at ease in my own mind, and settled in my soul.

 

Summer So Far...

Has been spent with my Superman... (He was really excited for the Man of Steel movie, I ran out to get him a shirt just in time for our date night).

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And these kids... Caelan has been busy with work and his social life! Ethan is my homebody who has been a great help in the house. And Izzy has been busy with her Art Academy.
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And my handsome pup... keeps me busy all the time, in a good way.
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Enjoying the sunshine.
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Found an awesome plant based protein shake that I've been using for a few weeks and actually love the taste and the fact that it contains no soy like the Visalus. I've been doing some research on the Vi Shake and it's not for me and my new lifestyle. It is packed with preservatives and milk products, all the things I've been staying away from.
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Still challenging myself.
“If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you. - Fred Devito
One of the great things about pushing yourself beyond what you think is possible is that the act of doing that will change your mentality which will pour over into other areas of your life.
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More time spent with this guy...
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“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. - Jim Ryun

I think this is the picture from Jan 2013 that Izzy got of me playing with Kai that made me realize, I fell off the fitness bandwagon:

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By then, moving to Hawaii really got to me, all the good food, the constant eating out and my excuse of "It's to hot to run outside" was taking a toll.

Nowadays, I try not to weigh myself to much, but of course I can't help it.. but I've lost over 10 pounds.. and it's the stubborn weight too.. But I've started to gain muscle, something I never saw even in my early running days. When I started running a few years ago, I never strength trained at all so I was fine in my size 2's but it was like chicken legs and wobbly arms. Now I look at my arms and back.. and smile.. Where have you been all my life?

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I'm definitely not there yet, I have a long ways to go... but seeing the little changes in the physical and mental aspect is enough to keep me going. Plus I've got an amazing team by my side, my hubby pushes me because he knows I can push harder, and my brother in law and sister in law have joined the exercise bandwagon, so we've become a "strong" support system. Don't get me wrong, I know my IG feed looks like I live in the gym. But I have my days where I don't feel like doing S***, and some day it gets the best of me and some days I suck it up and go anyway. Now it's become more of a routine, if we have a busy weekend planned, my first question is always... "When are we going to the gym?"

But I cannot stress enough that for us, what we decide to eat out weighs any gym weights. Making healthy choices has been key in this journey so far. But that doesn't mean we never eat junk, if we didn't we would d a lot more binging. So allow yourself that cheesecake or brownie every now and then.

“You must begin to think of yourself
as becoming the person you want to be.
- David Viscott



Officially...

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(So I'm a little obsessed with hashtags at the moment, don't believe me, check out my Instagram! LOL!)

It's Summer 2013, marking a year since we've lived here... and the verdict? We couldn't be happier! The fam has been staying busy and active! I'm barely in the house, nonetheless, the computer.

I absolutely love a nice summer break, for the kids & me. We are all more relaxed, no set schedules, the kids relaxing and lounging, and me, well, I'm definitely more relaxed and focused on my manic obsession with working out.

This summer I also get to spend it with my BFF from AK, Ms. Erica. We've been getting a lot of sun and enjoying the island life. 

Oh.. and it's the NBA Finals! Even though the Spurs killed them yesterday :( I still:
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Ha, ha, I had to add those memes.

And of course I'm still catching up on Project Life:
I'm currently on Week 20, so that's not too bad :)

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Of course there's a lot more to say and write but we'll save that for another day!