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June 2013
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July 2013

Overcoming My Fears.

Next thing I know, I found myself standing at the edge of cliff that was about a 20 ft drop to --- the freaking OCEAN!


How did this happen? How the heck did I get up here? Said the girl who CANNOT SWIM. That's right you read that right.. I CANNOT SWIM. I'm not talking like I can't do laps very well. I'm seriously saying, if I get to anything pass my... neck (if that) I FREAK out. In my head, I'm already halfway to drowning.

So as you sit back and try to recollect what I just wrote. I'll reaffirm your thoughts in saying that "Yes, I realize I grew up on an island surrounded by water.. and I NEVER learned how to SWIM."

Before you gawk at me..

There is a legitimate reason to this phobia. When I was just a wee little girl (okay maybe 9) my mom took us out to a water park they had here called Castle Park. Well compared to what we have now, you may as well just compare it to a glorified swimming pool. But I remember going down slide without knowing what to expect when I got to the bottom... and literally falling into the water with no way of knowing how to get back up. The life guard had to jump in and save me. That little incident is enough to drive me steer clear from the water for the years to come.

So now you're wondering.. what exactly do I do at the beach or pool when I'm with the family? Well, I sunbathe! I may dip into the water (mainly to cool off) but I always carry a floatie or steal the kids floaties!

So I've heard all the jokes.. "Here mom, take Audrey's floaties!" Or, "What are you gonna do when the tsunami comes?" Or the classic move is when everyone is in the water and they are all waving at me to join them, in a mocking matter of course.

So how did I end up here:

I mean look at how high we are: (I'm in the far left corner)

Well come to think of it.. I still don't even know what I was thinking.

Moments before I ended up the rock, I was watching everyone jumping off the cliff, even the kids, over and over again and I honestly felt left out. As I stood below the cliff taking pictures, I realized the water was not very deep. Then I looked over at Rudy and he already knew what I was thinking before I'd even say it. He immediately said, "You can do it!" Then there's Erica reassuring me that she would go with me to the top and raving about what an excellent swimmer Logan is. Now I admit, if Logan was not at the bottom waiting for me, I really would have NOT gone. The fact that I knew he was a trained lifeguard was reassuring. But moments before I went, Logan looked me straight in the eye and asked "What is it that you are afraid of? The Height or The Water? Because if it's the water, you have nothing to worry about I'll be down there!" And the height had nothing to do with it, I don't have a fear of heights, it's the water that scared the "bejesus" out of me.

I can't even begin to explain my fear of water, it is real, and I have never even jumped into a pool of water that's 4 feet! (Well there is that one time I saved my niece from drowning, but that's another story). So jumping off this cliff was big for me.





"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."

I still have a long way to go with this whole fear of water thing.. like actually taking swimming classes. But something about jumping off that cliff and into the ocean that made me feel "alive". In the last few months I have noticed a shift in perspective in my life. I am challenging myself more and more. I used to think I could not do any sort of "Strength Training" especially when I tried to lift a 25lb barbell and all I could think of "This is too hard and it hurts.." Now I crave the weight training! Then there's this Spartan Race we signed up for next month. (You need to google Spartan Race) It is "hard-core!" I'm still leery of the 10ft wall climbs and that rope climb, but I'm gonna try. And that's all you can do in life, is try. Sometimes I need to be reminded of how to live fearlessly and to just go for it.



This ohana has been out and about exploring, I'm liking our Hiking Weekends. This hike was along the Makapu'u trail, it was an easy paved hike. So we detoured towards the mountains to get a different view and to be rebels :)


The sun beat down on us early on and the kids and the dog were getting scorched, but they were all troopers. At the top of this hike everyone brings a padlock and places them along the fence line, so Izzy got to put up one. We're planning a few harder hikes in the following weeks but first hubby has a long work week ahead and then he'll finally take a couple weeks off for the final week of the kids summer and their first week of school already! I can't believe school is around the corner for the kids.

She Just Gets Me.

I have this friend, Best Friend ... who happens to always see the best in me, believes in me, sometimes more than I believe in myself. Her "go-get-em" and "get up on your ass and just do it" attitude is infectious. In my eyes, she excels at all she does, she sets a goal and sticks with it. I've always admired her persistence and her tenacity in this thing called life.


I am quite the opposite, although I make the efforts to get what I want and where I want to be, it always seems like I need a little push or maybe a shove to get there. But it's with people like her that make me want to be a better person than I was yesterday. It's people like her, who sees my potential before I do, that make me believe "I can."


I can't even pin point the exact moment we met, but I knew I wanted to get to know her more. It always starts with a common thread for two people to strike up a conversation, and for us, at the time, was scrapbooking. In the months/years to follow... this "hanging out" thing we did, grew into some may call a "lifetime of friendship". You see, I seldom let people in. Some may "know me" from the exterior, from what they read on my blog even, but only a few really "know me". The minute I knew she was one of my better halves was when she became like that voice in my head.. but she was actually saying it.


Hanging out with her was effortless, and I've learned that is how it should be. You shouldn't have to struggle of what to say next when your with someone. Those moments of silence, sitting next to someone, should be the most comfortable. No words need to be said, you two should simply just be. And that's how I feel with her.

She and I go way back..
From our old stomping grounds in AK circa 2008 when it was all about scrapbooking, Twilight, Black Dagger Brothers, reality tv shows, late night movies when it was -10 degrees out, working out, eating M&M's, sneaking into movies, people watching, people gawking, Labrador hunting, texting like crazy to avoid actually talking so we can still sit on our butts and watch our trashy tv shows. But through it all, she's stood beside me, with her unwavering heart always willing and ready to lend a hand. She's respected me in my time of "solitude" and accepted my "broken soul" for what it is. She just "gets" me.

So saying goodbye to her (before I left AK) was hard. The day she left a part of me went with her but somehow I knew our paths would cross again.
Screen Shot 2013-07-16 at 10.18.40 PM

And indeed they did, when she was given the opportunity to spend the summer in Hawaii with her family. I was beyond ecstatic to be given some time with her and her family.


Having this extra time is a blessing. Even though she's busy with her 3 kiddos, we tried to get together as much as we can. Since she's been here I'm envious at how she juggles her three kids  while her hubby works long hours. At the end of the day, she manages to still have a smile on her face.

In a week she'll be heading back to AZ, and once again, I hate saying "good-bye". But just like the last time, I have a feeling our families will stay in touch for years to come. I think she knows, she was made for "island-life" and it won't be long before we will be neighbors once again.


When was the last time you saw the sunrise? And not, on your way to work or for your early morning run.. but on the highest peak, surrounded by nature and all it's serenity? 


On the 4th of July, we had the crazy idea of going for a crack of dawn hike to watch the sunrise. Thanks to my son, who continues to teach me that there is more to life than taking care of the house or kids, the week before he went to watch the sunrise with his friends and after seeing his Polaroid pics, I was envious.  I asked myself, when was the last time I said, “Screw it, let’s just go!” When was the last time I felt truly spontaneous? I have to say it’s been a while. For someone with a wild streak in her, I stayed pretty safe for way to long. Our spontaneity came after only 2 hours of sleep, more like a nap, (went to bed at 2am only to wake up at 4am) but we still decided to “Just Do It”.

Okay more like… I woke up before my alarm at 4am getting ready to text my sister in law and brother in law, so I could let them know I was indeed “awake” but if they were asleep I’d understand. Well, that didn’t happen, cause my brother in law was pretty quick to text to say “Let’s Go!” Of course, I never want to turn down a challenge (the challenge of actually getting my butt out of bed). And we headed out.


We hiked up to the “Pillbox”. This was my first time there. It was a fairly easy hike, but but going uphill on those rocks to the top of some cliffs, is pretty challenging early in the morning with 2 hours of sleep. Apparently when we got to the top, we weren’t the only ones with this crazy idea. It was packed with other thrill seekers.

Watching that sun rise was invigorating, almost a little reminder that it’s a new day, your alive, you have your health, and you have people that love you. New beginnings lay ahead and you have this opportunity to make the most of them. 


The sunrise was beyond perfect that day, I was thankful for the gift of sight… to be able to witness it. How do I even begin to explain the sunrise to someone who can’t see? I was thankful to be surrounded by people I love who share the same adventurous streak. I need to this more often.. get out of my element, my comfort zone and just go for it!  Too much of my life is sheltered around routine, it was indeed a great idea!



“A new day: Be open enough to see opportunities. Be wise enough to be grateful. Be courageous enough to be happy.”