Sifting through old family videos all weekend gathering clips for Caelan's slideshow for his Graduation Party next month. Graduation parties here in Hawaii are pretty extravagant, I had a small (tented an area outside our apartment complex invited mostly everyone in my block) to my graduation party back in 1995. Now days kids are renting ballrooms (which we have) or his friend rented out an entire nightclub for the evening. So naturally we are going all out! We've got lots to plan as far as favors, table decor, photographer, videographer, DJ.. the whole nine yards. So as usual, I'm so last minute.
But I came across some old footage we haven't seen in ages! (We needed to find someone with a VCR, luckily my brother doesn't like to dump stuff). We hooked it up to our computer and have been sifting ever since.
Images of Caelan when he was barely 2, running alongside me or Rudy made us laugh, cry, and laugh again. Seeing all the places we have lived (started in California, drove to Texas, then cross country to Maryland) was amazing. Just seeing how far we've come from a family of 3 and now a giant 5, simply blows my mind. Most of all, seeing how quickly these kids grow, a reminder that kids grow up so fast.
Photos of Caelan and Ethan as toddlers and babies just brought tears to my eyes...(Except the one of me pregnant with Ethan, I was HUGE!)
(Side note) When Ethan was born, he did not make a sound at all! He did not cry or fuss, even when the doctors did the whole suction cup thingy. He literally came out wide eyed and curious, but he did not cry out at all. Eventually he did, he had to stay in the hospital for 12 extra days because of complications with his liver where they pricked his heel every hour for 12 days straight... (Just had to share that one memory of him).
Funny how I can't recall what life was like running around as a mother of two little ones, with a husband who was always so busy at work, I really had to buckle down and do things on my own a lot. I didn't think (after Caelan) I was built to be a mother.. but after the second one, watching the videos, I looked like a natural. So when Izzy came along, I could literally juggle three with ease (well most days).
Now that the boys are teenagers and my youngest is past single digits... it saddens me that they don't "need" me as much. But much like them growing up, I can't imagine ever being in that situation again. After I had Izzy, I knew that I was done, even as young as I was (only 26 years old) I decided to permanently be done with having any more children. And now as I watch my friends and family raise their little ones.. I know without a doubt, I'm ready for the next few chapters of my life.
In a few months Caelan will be in college and Ethan is right behind him. Izzy will always be my "baby girl" but I can see that "feisty" teenage-esque starting to unfold. Hubby and I often dream of traveling, just the two of us. I'd love to see where he grew up in Germany and I'd love to walk the streets of France.. knowing that these adventures are right around the corner, gets me a little excited, well the guilty-excited kind.. where I know the kids won't be with us as we venture out on the next chapter of our lives.. For now, I'll embrace "the now".